Last week our profile was submitted to 2 birth moms. One of the moms in particular grabbed my attention because her due date was on Gage’s birthday (he was our little guy that we lost last year), she was having a girl and the baby would be half Mexican.
It was (in my mind) exactly what I was hoping for…the opposite of who Gage was/is. This may sound weird, but for our own kids’ sake we wanted that so that they wouldn’t be comparing our new little baby to their brother that they lost. Girl not boy, darker complexion vs. pasty white, darker eyes not bright blue.
Anyhow. We got notified last week that we were not first choice, but a very close second choice. I was surprised, but we were totally OK. We know the Lord is in control and he has the perfect baby for our family and we’re willing to wait as long as had to. That was on Friday evening.
So on Monday we went ahead and told the agency to submit our profile to another birth mom that we had just received information on. And then Monday evening we got a call at dinner time…because that’s when all important calls come in. It was Christian Family Adoptions and our worker told us that the first pick family had just backed out and changed their minds about this particular baby. Really??!! “Were we able and willing to meet with the Birth Mom the next morning?”. Let me think about that for a millisecond….yep.
And so yesterday we drove to a certain city and met at the public library with our Christian Family Adoptions worker, Gayle and the Birth Mom. Very surreal. How really do you act when the possible Birth Mom of your possible adopted baby walks in and you are introduced? There is such a fine line of both respect for her, sadness for her; yet anticipation for yourself, hope and fear both at the same time for your family.
We spent about an hour with her and where we got to ask her questions and she got to ask us questions. She even brought her ultrasound pictures so we could see them. And that my friends, is just weird. To hold HER ultrasound pictures while thinking that could quite possibly we were holding our FUTURE baby in our hands and feeling at the same time, how incredibly bizarre this must all be for the Birth Mom.
I have so much respect for the moms who choose adoption. What an amazing self-sacrificing decision to make.
We ended the meeting by talking about the birth experience and she invited us to be in the room with her during the birth. Of course I had secretly hoped this would be possible, but you can’t assume it will be an option. We are about 2 hours away from her and will hopefully have plenty of time to get there and be in the room to welcome “little baby girl” into the world.
We said our goodbyes, gave hugs and walked out to the parking lot. Now we pray for her and her little one. We pray for God to work out all the details like he’s so amazing at doing and we rest in the fact that He’s got it all under His control, so we don’t have to worry or try to figure anything out. And that is what true peace is all about! Leaving it in God’s hands and letting him lead.
Now the “little” stuff like oh, maybe getting a car seat! And finishing the details for our backyard benefit concert! And….lol…lots to do in a short 4 weeks!