Here we go again…

Hosea 14:3b says, “For in you the fatherless finds mercy.”

Psalm 82:3 says, “Defend the poor and fatherless; Do justice to the afflicted and needy.

Isaiah 55:8-9 says, For my thoughts are not your thoughts, Nor are your ways My ways,” says the Lord. “For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are My ways higher than your ways, and My thoughts than your thoughts.”

Right here. This is why we find ourselves back in the throws of foster care. It is certainly not for everyone. It is hard. It is tiring. It is unpredictable. It requires much patience and flexibility. And it certainly doesn’t make sense to most people – or even ourselves at times.

We’ve told people that the only word to describe why we are here…taking in a baby in foster care, after such a hard loss in the past; so much grief that our family had to work walk through and trusting that God’s ways were NOT our ways…and that word is assnine. We know. And we’ve had the questions that go something like this:

“Why would you do that to yourselves again?”

“How are your kids doing?”

“Aren’t you afraid of the same thing happening?”

In a nutshell, BECAUSE WE STILL FEEL GOD CALLING US HERE. We took 2 years to heal, to work through our anger, our grief, our loss. We adopted Jo – which was the best healing balm EVER for everyone. We named her Josephine Joy for a reason. “May the Lord increase in Joy”, is what her name means, and God has done that abundantly in our hearts and lives through her smile, goofiness, big chocolate eyes that twinkle and a personality that just makes your heart feel lighter.

So, here we are. With a newborn from the hospital that needs a mommy and daddy desperately. Being kept up at all hours of the night with feedings, having CASAs, lawyers, caseworkers and SSA’s at my home, running to and from medical appointments and court…and loving every minute of it. When I walked into that hospital, in the NICU to get “my” baby, I picked him up, gave him a kiss and said to myself, “This is what I was made to do.” Yes, we will get attached. Yes, it will be hard when he {may} have to leave someday, but it was what WE were made to do. I am thankful that Tad feels just as called to this as I do and loves these babies, as he goes off to work with bloodshot eyes from being kept up all night.

The honest truth is that we don’t do this because it makes us feel good; simply because we love babies. We do this because God calls us to love the orphan, defend the fatherless and live out justice. And that my friends, is not easy or pain free, but it’s not about us. It’s about the child, the orphan. We are willing to invite pain into our lives because living in a pain free world isn’t what God has called us to. Rather it is in pain and sacrifice where we truly feel the presence of God, where we NEED Him daily – I don’t want to not need God. Ever. I don’t want to be so comfortable that I don’t need Him because I can do life on my own. I hope that makes sense. It’s not that we LOVE pain and suffering. We don’t. But wisdom tells us that pain and suffering is where we grow the most; closer to God and deeper in our walk with Jesus. And THAT is what we want.

And as far as our kids go? They all LOVE having a baby in the house again. They are constantly picking him up, kissing him, loving on him. It’s just in their DNA and YES, they know that they may get attached and that he may leave again…but they’ve walked this path before and they get it. They understand that just because it might hurt doesn’t mean that we don’t do what God has called our family to do.

And on that note…please don’t read this and feel judgement from me, or guilt…this is just what WE are called to do. We don’t expect everyone to live out this life that we do; we know everyone is called to something different and unique. What are you called to in this life?